‘Here I Go Back Down Again’

“Well, here I go back down, again

The vicious circle never ends

I’m up,  I’m down,  I’m up and then…

Here I go back down again.
Some folks think I drink too much
I guess, I could lay off the stuff

But, when I’m low, it picks me up

Maybe, I just think too much…

Well, here I go back down, again

The viscous circle never ends 

I’m up, I’m down, I’m up and then…

Well, here I go back down again

I’m up I’m down, I’m up and then…
Here I go back down, again.

Here I go back down, again.


– Charlie Robison of Bandera Texas


Dude, Not Cool…

Doctors and nurses ran frantically into and out of the small room I found myself in. I had never seen such organized chaos from my place in the hospital bed. Little did I know it then, but I had just traveled the longest, most expensive 50 miles, by ambulance to the nearest hospital. In weeks I had not felt the emotion you and me, we all have at some point in time likely taken for granted, known as joy. We’ll come back to that sensation and others, both authentically human and artificially or chemically induced, in greater detail later.
In weeks I had not been hungry, had not eaten anything that felt like it wasn’t fighting to out of me. I was miserable. I hadn’t held a baseball or wore a pair of cleats in as much time, though that time was starting to feel like much, much longer.
The doctor came into the room, finally. He decidedly sighed, looking over what I could only assume had to be my chart. After a quick but thorough examination, he stepped back and folded his arms. He then knowingly looked over to me, into my eyes, then as if without a shadow of a doubt said to my worried parents, “Crohn’s disease.”

As he continued talking, my mind raced off far away; immediately I knew one thing- I had never heard of anything that sounded so unpleasant, so uncool. After a few seconds, I came back into my body. “…but we’ll get him started on some steroids to control the inflammation and get you some medicine for the pain.”
He grinned, “You’re going to be feeling better soon”, he said, “but we want to be sure that you don’t have anything to eat or drink for maybe a day or two.” He went on further, but my ears told my brain it had heard enough. Provided the fact that I had tubes up my nose that had the necessary task of pumping bile from my diseased gut so that I could stop incessantly vomiting, I thought how he could joke at a time like this? Who is this guy, what is this, his job? Telling strangers who had nearly choked on their stomach as it tried to turn itself inside out, that he would fix them, while he starved them?”

Election Night: 2016

Brextin, the Chicago Cubs and Donald J. Trump.  Does it get much crazier than this? Am I in some kind of dream? As I direct my gaze into the television and pan back over again to the familiar faces at a small gathering of friends and family, I get the feeling that I’m not the only person in the room who is asking themselves the same questions. I’m hearing from one panelist that there will be a huge sense of disbelief and even despair on Wednesday morning Nov. 9 2016. By another it is being compared to “a hangover after a three day bender when you wake up, your clothes are off and your bank account is gone.”

Even Republicans, moderates and libertarians have many concerns. Public policy. National security issues. Does someone who has been “the boss” to so many people for his entire adult life have the right combination of grace, strength humility and confidence that it takes to be able to work across the aisle as well as within the party and with other nations to take us to the place we need to be in order to thrive and prosper as a country united in 2017? Maybe not. Maybe we will all be worse off  in four or maybe it could be the end of life as we all know it. Indeed, there is much controversy over this election. Either way you look at it, whatever political party you support, at the end of the day we are all Americans and I think that it’s uncertain times like these that it’s more important than ever we stand united together as a country. But whether you decide to jump ship and look for a life in another land or stick it out and make the most 6f it, join me in hoping and praying for and even believing that we our country is going to be one of unity and prosperity moving into the future.

 J. L. McLendon

Crohn’s Disease/Medicine pt. I

   ​Judge thee as you will, and you certainly will. But as an observationalist, I cannot ignore this any longer. I keep seeing folk’s reaction to me using Cannabis; the natural, God given medicine, grown from the earth, etc… I guess it’s most likely that I just never noticed before but I can’t help but laugh to myself when I see people living their own deceptive, hypocritical lives and then look at me smoking medicinally (not that it matters much either) in my own private lot, and you would have thought they had seen their own ghost. I guess that being in Boulder, in that judgement free take of the earth environment grew on me more profoundly than I’d previously realized. And I get that this is a totally different subject, by definition, in Texas, more than ever before. Even here in Austin, the sort of liberal at the party that is the statehood of Texas.
#crohnsdisease, #IBS #crohn’sdisease, #crohnsandcolitis


   Insomnia finds me again. It’s going to be a long day. I will find some way to get through the day dog tired or not.


Gotta love Wikipedia.

  1. #insomnia, #narcotsleepingpills, #sedative #sedative/hypnotic